Ham on the Run! Review
Have you beaten Angry Birds and miss that avian/porcine dynamic? Got nothing better to do while you sit on the subway than annoy assorted poultry? Ready to get “Band on the Run” stuck in your head for the next few days? (Oops. Sorry. I guess it’s in there now anyway). Check out the new free game, Ham on the Run!
Oh, you’ll get absolutely no instruction for what is really a pretty simple procedure. You’ve got a pig with some serious bird issues. He likes to jump on the heads of chickens while running through a carnival. You tap the screen, which allows him to do just that. Short taps produce short hops and long taps give you higher long jumps. What you just read is more info than you get while starting up the game.
Speaking of information, there is no explanation about why the future bacon bit has all this chicken hatred. Could it be that he’s related to the guys in Angry Birds and has it in for anything with wings? Perhaps he heard about the recent introduction of the bacon milkshake to a popular fast food restaurant. Maybe he just knows about the rampant chicken abuse that goes on in all RPG video games. Either way, your little porker could probably use some anger management.
Ham on the Run! is pretty much the same thing over and over, but you get bonuses for things like bopping four chickens on the head in a row, which allows you to collect more veggies, used to get yourself a wheel spin for upgrades. You might get a jet pack. Or more veggies. Each level has objectives like bouncing on a golden chicken or collecting a certain amount of vegetable matter. You also have to avoid bear traps, rockets and crevasses along the way. And all you have to do is keep tapping the screen.
While the new game from Glu Games is a bit addictive, you’re going to be bombarded with ways to spend real life money for vegetables and upgrades. Seriously, every time your little piggie dies (aw, sad), you’ll be prompted to purchase some peppers or rocket packs. The prompts are as frequent and annoying as those kiosk people in the mall trying to get you to try on some hand cream or talk to you about your cell phone. Still, you really don’t have to purchase anything. You’ll manage well enough once you get the rhythm down. Those crevasses come along fast though, so be prepared! Also, every time you open the game, you’ll be bugged by ads for other games and ways to spend money to upgrade your vegetable collection. On the wheel spinning screen, there is yet another place to get in a plea for some extra dough.
If this sort of mindless chicken abuse is your thing though, you’re at least dealing with some nice art and cute sound effects. It’s just adorable. Hey, the piggie clearly gets off on the violence. The look on his face is priceless and he’s not killing the chickens. Just giving them migraines.