10 Funniest Fallout 4 Glitches

There are a lot of things that defy gravity or physics in the Commonwealth of Fallout 4. That said, it’s seldom you’ll come across something that simply defies the laws of biology, even against the already bizarre standards of Fallout 4 creatures. Very rarely, if you’re the winner of what might be considered the freak lottery, you’ll come across a settler in a very strange state. They’ll act as though they’re in power armor even if they aren’t, but that’s not even the weird part. The weird part is that their limbs stretch to fit the dimensions their model ought to have if they were in power armor. What you end up with is some very long-legged, long-armed freaks that might make even a Super Mutant say “what the hell is going on with that human?” Nothing against the various creatures of the waste, but a normal looking human with stretched and warped features behaving as if everything is totally fine is almost a little more unnerving than running into a giant scorpion that likes to dig holes or a not-so-jolly green giant.

Some folks in the wasteland have a very high opinion of themselves and their self-absorbed missions based on what they think the greater good ought to be. It can be pretty insufferable, but nothing will sell that attitude more than if they hit a certain glitch where they become a magical prophet floating through the wasteland. This glitch gives the occasional NPC a stance that literally makes them look like not only will they not be wasting time walking anywhere, but they’re quite literally too good for it. Arms raised and feet pulled together like certain religious figures, nothing might make you want to cap their haughty butts sooner. Try to stay calm though. It’s not their faults that they’re moving around like Magneto. It’s that sometimes unfortunate code of Fallout 4 making think that they’re much, much cooler than they really are.

Nick Valentine is a straight-laced synthetic. He does what he thinks is right and has little to no tolerance for needless violence or beating around the bush. You might say he’s quite the stand-up synth. That is, unless you run into him while he’s affected by this glitch, in which case he’s more a slanted synth. This glitch makes Valentine move as if the world were a never-ending incline. It’s pretty harmless, but utterly hilarious when he gets to running like a cartoon maniac across the battlefield. Maybe he’s got bad posture, maybe he’s doing extreme calf exercises like you wouldn’t believe, or maybe Valentine is simply trying to prove to the world that he has the best Michael Jackson extreme lean around. Whatever the case, try not to lose track of your enemies and get too distracted if you catch Valentine traipsing around the Commonwealth like a total weirdo – even more so when he’s delivering his business-as-usual dialogue as he does it.

Have you ever seen a mechanical bull malfunction to the point where it just keeps going and won’t stop? Us neither, but we’re pretty sure this glitch is Fallout 4’s best rendition of what that might look like. This poor corpse got stuck halfway in a barrel and instead of resting in peace, the cadaver is doomed to a fate of spinning around, flopping about, and flipping at the mercy of the physics-defying barrel. There’s certainly worse ways to defile a Fallout corpse and at least the person that used to be this body doesn’t have to suffer through the extreme agony of being dragged around by this relentless barrel. Nonetheless, at the very least, we can say with full certainty that this corpse held on for the full eight seconds. Props to you cadaver cowboy, may your barrel rides be a bit more gentle in the afterlife.

Gee, you thought radscorpions, super mutants, mirelurks, and Deathclaws were scary things to worry about in the Fallout wasteland? Then you, my friend, haven’t had the chance occurrence of receiving a visit from the spooky poltergeist-mobile. Not quite the most dangerous thing, it’s still pretty unnerving to see a nuclear-powered vehicle flip, spin and pirouette through the air as it were possessed by the deceased spirit of a mechanically-inclined ballerina. From a distance, it’s mystifying and perhaps even awesome to watch, but be warned: If this tumbling town car gets to close, you might find yourself on a one-way trip to Explodes-ville. However, if you have time and a safe spectator zone to watch from, you and your travelling companion might pull up a seat, break out the Iguanas-On-A-Stick, and take a gander at how that scary car from the Stephen King’s Carrie might have danced if it hadn’t been so busy murdering folks.

If, heaven forbid, a bunch of nuclear bombs drop upon the Earth, radically changing the landscape and its inhabitants, it’s hard to truly say what all of the effects would be outside of widespread death and mutation. The Fallout series generally has both those things completely covered. What it has never had is this idea that maybe small pockets of explosively volatile material could be buried and trapped in patches of debris around the nuclear wasteland, until now. That radscorpion thought it was pretty clever going underground to set up a sneak attack on the player character. What it didn’t know was that for whatever reason it was about come upon an anomaly capable of blasting it into the stratosphere like a 1960s NASA chimpanzee headed for orbit. In all fairness, the NASA chimps had better luck than the aerial arachnid featured in this glitch.

Some people love to swim. It’s a fact. In the world of Fallout 4 it goes to a whole new level, though. You see, there are some folks in the Commonwealth that love swimming so much that they never stop swimming – not even when they’re out of the water or when there’s no visible bodies of water around. Sure, that might sound impossible, but these folks refuse to be deterred by silly things like logic, matter, and gravity. They’re so dedicated, they even bring the water sound effects with them like some sort of freakish ambient sound machine. Heck, if Olympic swimmers had the kind of drive that the human land dolphins inhabiting Fallout 4 have, then everyone would deserve a gold medal. That said, we’re lobbying the Summer Olympics committee to add “land swimming” as an official event in this year’s games. It’s the only true way to test how much the so-called “professionals” really want that win.

Many a young folk might not be old enough to remember music boxes, especially the ones that had those miniature, mechanical ballerinas in them that would twirl while the music was going. Luckily, Fallout 4 is here to remind us of how those things worked in macabre detail. Generally speaking, the real music boxes actually had music to go with them, as well as most if not all of their limbs and clothing intact. But hey, why not add your own little personal touch to these things? After all, it certainly is something that will leave an impression on any player fortunate or unfortunate enough to come across it. This may be a glitch in Fallout 4, but one has to admit it’s also a little artsy in a “what if Andy Warhol was a murderous psychopath” kind of way. Good thing Warhol was more of a soup can painting and films of sleep kind of oddity.

Here’s a pretty widely accepted opinion: cruelty to animals makes you a first-class cur, so when it comes to this glitch, it might not even be considered a problem with the game so much as poetic justice against a heartless wretch. After all, that mostly harmless cat was just lying there minding its own business when Captain Kill-Kitty came along trying to sling a bullet at it. One would like to imagine that the forces of nature and karma decided that enough was enough and launched this jerk into the sky in order to restore balance. Perhaps that’s optimistic, but even if it was simply a chance occurrence that the sweet kitty in this glitch just happened to be packing an anti-gravity device on its furry little being, this player certainly had it coming. Hopefully, they had time to think about karma and their choices on the way down to their pavement grave.

Do you feel light about your shoulders? Do you find yourself unable to concentrate or focus? Are the most simple of thoughts incomprehensible and out of reach? Does Ichabod Crane run like hell when he sees you coming? These may very well be signs that you’ve experienced the condition known as “head loss”. Head loss is a very real threat in the wasteland, but only occasionally will some players find that while their head might be gone, their bodies seem to have missed the memo. One might utilize the effects of time travel and “saving” as a preventative to head loss, but for those who succumb to a nefariously timed auto-save, the situation is far more permanent. If you feel that you’ve experienced irreversible head loss, please reconsider visits to the barber or haberdasher, being fitted for neck tie or giving your sweetie a smooch before going to work. Head loss ought to be fatal, but with the miracle of science (and miscalculated game logic), it’s a condition that one can live with, sort of.