10 Lies Gamers Tell When Losing
Couple games down? Got headshot one too many times? Tired of eating fireball spam to the face? Well do we have a solution for you. Fall back on one using one of these 10 Lies Gamers Tell When Losing. Just turn to your best buddy and lie your ass off. You see, if you simply lie and make it seem like the reason you are losing is not your lack of skill and poor sportsmanship, you can make your friends feel bad for beating you, and isn’t that what video games are all about? Here are 10 Lies Gamers Tell When Losing. If you have found yourself relying on these lies, then rejoice as you have continued the proud tradition of being a sore loser.
This Game is Stupid
Losing a match? Just devalue the game you are playing all together. Of course, this Lie Gamers Tell When Losing is actually self-defeating. If the game didn’t really matter to them, then they wouldn’t be playing it in the first place, and they certainly wouldn’t care enough to make excuses for their loss.
No Fair! You’re Cheating
You hear this lie in fighting games a lot. “You know secret moves,” or “You know an awesome cheat code!” Face it. If your opponent isn’t using a purposefully overpowered boss character then he isn’t cheating. Granted, the game you are playing may be fundamentally unbalanced, but that’s another problem entirely.
This Game Doesn’t Count
When gamers play long strings of games, they tend to classify matches as “counting,” or “not counting.” Usually games don’t count if anything happens over the course of the game that could distract a player. Did you sneeze? Game doesn’t count. Did you scratch your nose? Game doesn’t count. Attractive woman walks by? Game doesn’t count. Eventually the idea of actually winning the game just loses all meaning.
The Monitor is Too Low Res
This was a popular lie back when HD TVs were still new. Back then, games were designed for HD systems, and mostly left SD monitors in the dust. While this did make text hard to read, screwed with mini maps and other small graphics, and overall made other players hard to notice and aim at, there was one catch: Everyone had to deal with it! Sure, you might not be able to get off a perfect headshot because the monitor is fuzzy, but your opponents can’t either.
You Are Playing the Game Wrong!
Let’s get something straight right now. There is no such thing as playing the game wrong. If your opponent is quickscoping and killing you, that’s a part of the game! If you don’t like it, then you are playing a flawed game. As long as the rules say it’s OK, then nothing is off limits. For more evidence of this, check out professional gaming tournaments which very rarely go so far as to ban a weapon, or strategy unless it completely defines the game’s meta.
Our Connection is Laggy
The internet fostered one of the biggest 10 Lies Gamers Tell When Losing: lag. Lag is the cure-all, blame-all, reason for everyone’s sadness. Whether it’s a slight button delay, a split-second screen freeze, or a complete game rollback after you thought you had one, lag will screw you up forever. Unfortunately, for every 10 gamers who are complaining about lag, only one is actually experiencing it.
This Isn’t My Best Character/Loadout/Car Etc.
This may be one of the only lies on our list that is actually valid. Yes, sometimes players don’t play to the best of their ability just to have fun. Of course, if you are complaining about losing then how much fun you are really having is debatable. No one is stopping you from going full Rambo and going in hard against your opponents. Either put up or shut up is what we say.
I Wasn’t Paying Attention
Eyes here! Focus…FOCUS! Keep your eyes on the game. Sure you may not have been paying attention, but that doesn’t actually mean you didn’t lose. It just means you screwed up. You don’t see Olympic athletes getting do-overs because they, “weren’t paying attention” do you?
The Monitor is Laggy
As we stated before, lag is the perfect excuse for anyone who wants to shift the blame for their loss. But there is no such thing as online lag in the offline gaming world. So who can you blame? The monitor of course! Digital TV always takes a bit of processing, unlike the analog signals in CRT TVs of the past. So just say that your inputs are too laggy to be effective and no one will know that you actually forgot to block your opponent’s mix-ups.
My Controller is Broken
And finally, the number one Lie Gamers Tell When Losing is “My controller is broken.” Why? Because it’s the perfect lie for people who get upset easily. Look at it this way. Someone claims that the controller is broken, so you ask to use it for a while. This insinuates that they are a liar, which immediately gives them grounds for being upset at you. If you play it and find no problem with it, you insinuate that they are being a sore loser which is even more grounds for them to be angry at you. However, if you don’t play with it, none of your wins will count because their controller is worse than yours. In this situation, the only thing you can do to even the odds is to complain that your controller is broken as well. In fact, just break both controllers, throw your system in the dishwasher and take up needlepoint. There's no lag issues in needlepoint.