10 Dumbest Ways to Die in Video Games
All of us have fallen prey to instant death spikes and lava traps in our many years of gaming which is why we're doing a list of the Dumbest Ways to Die in Video Games. At this point, death as a result of an enemy swarm, an errant headshot, or projectile spam has become commonplace. However, there are still some ways to die in video games that make us rage and throw our controller, not because they are cheap, but because they are stupid. If you fall prey to any of these dumbest deaths, you have no one to blame other than yourself (and poor game design).
Running out of ammo has never been fun. Back in the days of old school shooters, you were given one gun that had infinite ammo and all your cooler guns used ammo. That’s fine. However, current day shooters, especially single-player ones, that let you run out of ammo do nothing but frustrate their player base. Outside of a horror game where no ammo leads to an increased feeling of fear, this should never happen. We've all been there though, and the only thing that drowns out the click of an empty chamber is all the laughter from the guy who remembered to reload.
Escort Missions are some of the stupidest ways to pad out gameplay in existence. Poorly designed A.I. might make the person you are escorting run right into the line of fire, and there’s nothing you can do about it! These missions basically say, “Here, compensate for someone stupider than you,” and when you get a game over because of it, it’s one of the most frustrating things in the universe because you didn’t even really die. Thankfully, more recent games like The Last of Us and BioShock Infinite didn’t program lose conditions onto your companions. Hopefully that trend continues.
Okay, so it doesn’t have to be your little brother, but we have all been in this situation before. Someone really wants to try a new game and you are at a very important and difficult part. Unfortunately, your sympathy gets the better of you and you hand off the controller. Of course, you not only die, but somehow your entire inventory gets wasted, and you are forced to go back several hours in the game, all because you treasured friendships over video game progress. What a mistake. Remember kids, always let newbs play on a new save file.
Oh, hey! Look at that! It’s a huge hulking behemoth! Well, even though I’m only level 15 and it's level 50, I see no problem in trying to defeat it. What could possibly go wro- OH GOD! IT’S TEARING OUT MY LUNGS WITH ITS TEEETH! I’M WEARING MY INTESTINES! THIS WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA! Don't let your pride get the best of you. Knowing your limits can save your life.
Teabagging deaths are poetic justice. If you are spending your time taunting in a fighting game, teabagging in a shooter, or otherwise attempting to humiliate an opponent rather than playing the game and you die from it, you are only getting what you deserve. Next time, think about scanning the area for snipers rather than shoving your virtual junk into someone else’s face.
Which button is the gas? How do you throw a fireball? All of these questions speak to a fundamental misunderstanding of a game’s controls. At low levels of skill, pressing the wrong button might just be a hilarious laugh between you and your friends. At high levels, pressing the wrong button basically means insta-death.
Any Minecraft player has dealt with the horrid creature known as the Creeper. This hissing pile of green death explodes on you when you least expect it, not only killing you, but destroying the beautiful castle you were building in the process. It’s not only Creepers that do this. Zombies in games like Resident Evil, or Left 4 Dead have been known to walk up behind you when you weren’t looking either. So this entry on the list goes out to any enemy that insta-kills you when you are just standing around taking in the sights instead of remaining focused.
If you have played split screen mode in any game before then you have likely fallen prey to this dumb way to die at least once. The game starts, you are running toward your target, then suddenly you notice yourself turning the wrong way or firing randomly at the wrong thing. While you fiddle with your controller to make sure it isn’t broken, you only realize too late that you were looking at the wrong screen, and have likely jumped off a random cliff to your death as a result. On current systems, this is rarely a problem, but we've seen it happen all too often when clamoring for that retro fix on F-Zero or Mario Kart.
Speaking of jumping off cliffs, one of the dumbest ways to die is held solely by the platformer genre. From platformer time immemorial, there have been ledges that look like they could be stood on, but were just part of the scenery. Your attempt to jump to safety is met with nothing other than a long fall to your doom. Lest you think this only occurred in the days of 8-bits, look no further than Assassin’s Creed and just try to count all the times you tried to grab a ledge that just wasn’t grabbable for some reason. The worst.
Finally, we have the number one dumbest way to die in a game, which comes as a result of the dumbest way to play: Quick Time Events. QTE’s boil down gameplay to nothing more than a twitch fest. The game tells you to “press X to not die” and if you aren’t quick enough on the draw, then you die. Simple as that. No life lost. No chance to continue. No way to dodge. Just a 100 percent guaranteed game over because you didn’t press X quick enough. These are even more frustrating when they come at the end of a long and drawn out boss fight. Usually you’ll have to participate in a quick time event to execute the boss once and for all, but if you drop the ball, you’ll just end up having to fight over again from the beginning.