The 10 Stages of Dark Souls Grief
Like the 5 Stages of Grief, playing Dark Souls puts you through the emotional wringer. You'll experience the high of conquering Anor Londo and the utter and poisonous despair of Blighttown. Throughout your journey you'll be reduced to tears, punch a fist into the air, and snap more than one controller. But, for some reason, we all keep playing it. Here are the 10 Stages of Dark Souls Grief to help you identify just how far you are through the game by gauging whether or not it has stolen your soul or left you a happy husk of a person.
So you fork over some cash to find out what the hell everyone is talking about. It can't be really as hard as everyone says.
Yes. Yes it is as hard as everyone says, and the first boss has smashed you into a soupy pulp with his butt. You start to question your game purchasing decisions.
You give up, but that Dark Souls disk sits on your shelf mocking you. It is defying you to play it. It knows you are weak and its presence there only serves to undermine your gaming self confidence.
You relent to the game's cajoling and finally pick it up again. You remember your mantra...
The Many Deaths
You decide to check out the graveyard first. Dead. You swagger into the a pack of enemies thinking you'll be fine. Dead. You piss off a Black Knight. Dead.
You actually start to do well. The little minions that were such a bother before, fall under your sword easily now. Then, you dodge the wrong way, fall off the castle wall, and make this face...
The Taste of Satisfaction
So, you've toiled and prepared and have finally taken down your first real boss. Nothing could be sweeter. Maybe you've finally got Dark Souls figured out.
The Drake Break
After your first taste of satisfaction, you're immediately barbecued by by a renegade drake. Your controllers take a cruel and unwarranted hit.
You've persevered and put in your time. You've slowly made your way through each section of Lordran. You've entered the ranks of the ultimate badass and have taken down the lords and drakes alike. You're gaming experience has become much more interesting.
You've beaten the game and feel the need to brag about it to all of your friends. You try to coach them through their baby steps in Dark Souls and chuckle pompously when they make the same mistakes you did.