Wait a second. Didn’t I do this review before? I know I’d remember a parking simulator if I played one. Well, maybe I wouldn’t. Just adding “Parking Simulator” to the title would cause me to have a bout of boredom induced amnesia. Oh, this one is in a desert. Well that might change everything! Let’s have a look and see if Desert Trucker: Parking Simulator has some life left in it after being out in the blazing sun of the App Store.

The words “Parking Simulator” make my heart sink like a stone in the sticky abyss of dread. It is such a shame because the words Desert Trucker had the promise of the open road and sand. It might have even been a game about the Dakar rally race across the spine of Africa. But no, it’s another parking simulator. Riveting.

Desert Trucker: Parking Simulator puts you in charge of a few varieties of army camouflage truck and you must navigate their hulking bulk around a mazelike desert base and get it to stop within the little green box.

The controls themselves are as leaden and numb as a big rig’s wheel and pedals. Normally this would be a terrible thing, but in this one instance, it actually works quite well. The controls are the obstacle you have to overcome. It is where Desert Trucker derives its difficulty. The controls are fiddly, but predictable and, most importantly, fair. You’ll always know that you did wrong when you make a mistake a crash.

This is where I run into a huge problem with Desert Trucker: Parking Simulator. I have a big rig and a large area full of stuff to run into, but as soon as I do, I get a game over. This is so frustrating! Sure it makes for a good challenge, but where is the fun in driving a big rig if you can’t run into anything? Just give me part of the levels as destructible matter and I’ll be happy. Deduct points if you have to, just let me smash through some things, please.

As is usual with freemium games, you can play through much of the game in normal mode without forking over any cash. But, if you want different challenges and some more upgrades, you’re going to have to buy them. Thankfully it isn’t a hindrance to your playing of the game.

Desert Trucker is an improvement on the last Parking Simulator. The graphics are a bit better and the setting holds a bit more intrigue. Also, you get to play in a racing tanker which is a lot faster and more fun than the usual fare. But, unless you’re really into trucks, I can’t really recommend this. It is perfectly serviceable, but for the average gamer, it isn’t going to provide the satisfaction that so many of us crave. It’ll leave you dried up like the salt flats.


Store Link: Desert Trucker: Parking Simulator for iPhone & iPad | By Play With Friends | Price: Free | Version: 1.0 | 50.3 MB | Rating 4+

5.0 out of 10 arcade sushi rating