Burrito Bison Review
Now come on, who comes up with these games? I mean, seriously, was there a board meeting where a committee suggested, “Bull slingshots himself into gummi bears.” and they voted on it? And what do burritos have to do with anything? Is it a reference to the running of the bulls in Spain? Because burritos are from Mexico.
Burrito Bison may be the weirdest game I’ve ever played, even weirder than Wimp: Who Stole My Panties. It’s actually not much of a game, rather a chain reaction you watch, but it’s awesome. The sense of speed is exhilarating. You feel every bounce and when Burrito Bison finally stops, you’re still on edge from all of the insanity that just occurred.
The game begins when you launch Burrito Bison into the air, which you do by trying to tap the screen when the power gauge is full. Then you kind of just watch for a while as the bull bounces off of gummi bears. If he lands in a bubble, you can tap to go higher. If he snags a glider, you can tap to fly higher. If he gets a pogo stick, you can tap to jump off the ground or off of other gummi bears. You can also tap to body slam. The only thing that really slows you down is running into cops, or hitting the ground without bouncing off another gummi bear. What am I even talking about?
Really, you just go for a good launch and hope you bounce into as many power-ups as you can to keep flying. But, you collect money with every bear you crush, so in between games you can upgrade Burrito Bison and buy power-ups. Since there’s no limit to how many times you can play, you can just rack up money.
The powerups include elastic cables that will give you a stronger initial launch, bounciness that makes you faster and, uh, bouncier, and pickpocket skills which make you earn more from each gummi bear. So really you can power up to earn more money on each launch and then power up some more! That’s the game, the strategy of what you’re going to buy to improve your next launch.
There are six total attributes that you can beef up, pun intended, and then six other in-game power ups you can buy. Buy more bubbles, gliders or pogo sticks so that there are more of those helpful toys in the game for Burrito Bison to grab in mid-air.
The graphics are gorgeous with colorful candy lands full of gummis, donuts and cotton candy. The animation is great with all of Burrito Bison’s cool muscle poses. The music sounds epic and the sound effects make you feel every crunch, crushes and whizz through the air.
I figured out that Burrito Bison is actually an endless running game. It’s side scrolling instead of 3D, and it does eventually have an end point, but it’s about trying to keep Bison in the air crushing gummi bears as long as possible, and when he stops the game ends. I love it. It’s a simple game you can play quickly, just by tapping the screen, but it’s hard to put down. I end up playing it for hours just to feel the rush of Burrito Bison flying through the air.