Do you like video games, but you're tired of all the pesky gameplay, production values, and fun? Well, then, check out Big Win Racing, an app from Hothead Games which strips away all that to leave you with a Nascar-flavored virtual slot machine that's hungry for your money and offers you nothing in return.

Immediately on first logging in you'll be hit with a one-two punch of a prompt to log in to your Facebook account (and thusly spam your friends with Big Win Racing messages), and a twangy country tune. You might call Big Win Racing a collectible card game, but that would be a misnomer, as it would imply that there's some sort of gameplay to be had, or significant decisions to be made on your part. You're in command of a team of professional race car drivers, spending money to acquire better cars, parts, boosts, and whatnot in the hopes of advancing your rank so you can continue earning better stuff. For your first race you're given a predetermined pack of cards containing all of the elements you need to make a team of racers, and, after a few taps of the finger, you're racing! But wait, you're not actually racing, your cars just drive around for a little while based on whatever stats their associated cards have — you can even skip the race entirely to see who placed where and how much money you received. You don't get much, and with the high cost of most card packs you'll find that the stockpile of money you're initially provided with will quickly dry up, leaving you farting in the wind in the hopes that more money will blow your way.

But wait, there is a way to get more in-game currency. You guessed it — spend real money! Like the other free-to-play tripe out there, Big Win Racing's store offers a slew of overpriced garbage you can waste real-world dollars on. This would be more annoying if there was more game to play, but there's not. Big Win Racing isn't really a game, it's just a glowing thing you can tap once a day and get fake rewards that do nothing. There's no strategy, no risk, nothing resembling a true game to be found here.

You can customize your race car drivers, but the customization options are so meager they needn't have bothered. The aforementioned twangy music's not bad, but there's pretty much just the one song going throughout everything that happens, so it grows old fast, and the drivers all look like badly-beaten Xbox avatars with severe chromosomal deficiencies. You also have to be online to play, and if you have access to the internet there are roughly 1.21 giga-billion better things you could be doing. Hell, even if you don't have access to the internet there are 1.21 giga-billion better things you could be doing.

Big Win Racing has the worst elements of every free social game out there and offers nothing new, fun, or original in return. If you value your time or have any self-respect, you should avoid this at all costs.


App Store Link: Big Win Racing for iPhone and iPad | By Hothead Games| Price: Free | Version: 3.7 | 46.9 MB | Rating 12+

3.0 out of 10 arcade sushi rating