11 Video Game Characters We’d Hate to Date
Video games aren't a medium known for being full of romance — probably because most video game characters are independent badasses built to allow the player to do whatever the hell he or she wants to do most. There are a few characters who can maintain long-term relationships (albeit shaky ones), like Ken Masters and Lara Croft, characters featured in our list of 11 Video Game Characters We'd Like to Date. Most video game characters, however, just don't do relationships, and some are worse at it than others, which is why we've put together a list of the 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.
- 11
Scott Pilgrim
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The GameWhy? He's kind of a moron, has the world's worst memory, and is unbelievably self-involved.
On the plus side, he's the best fighter in Toronto, maybe all of Canada. Still, he's one of the 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.
- 10
Samus Aran
The Metroid SeriesWhy? She's an intergalactic bounty hunter who spends 99% of her days alone. She's not what you'd call a people person.
On the plus side, she owns her own spaceship.
- 9
Wrex Urdnot
The Mass Effect SeriesWhy? He's a giant turtle-man with four balls.
On the plus side, he's got a voice so low it could make Barry White jealous.
- 8
Bowser
Too many Mario games to countWhy? He's also a giant turtle-man, but the biggest issue here is that he'll always be obsessed with Princess Peach.
On the plus side, he's got a sweet-ass castle.
- 7
Viewtiful Joe
Viewtiful Joe 1 and 2Why? He's immature and totally obsessed with movies— you'll always come second, baby.
On the plus side, he's a whole lotta fun and has a pretty sick goatee.
- 6
Bayonetta
Bayonetta 1 and 2Why? She doesn't exactly take her paramours seriously, and she's a witch.
On the plus side, she's a super hot witch with magical, shapeshifting hair and a sexy British accent.
- 5
Otacon
The Metal Gear Solid SeriesWhy? His romantic interests always tend to end up a wee bit dead.
On the plus side, he's a super-ultra-mega genius. Still doesn't make up for him being one of the 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.
- 4
Any guy from Grand Theft Auto
GTA seriesWhy? They're gangbangers who run hookers over with their cars and will probably get you thrown in jail by association (if they don't run you over with their cars).
On the plus side, they tend to have lots of money and unlimited ammo.
- 3
Crazy Dave
Plants vs. Zombies 1 and 2Why? He's crazy, and probably smells like cabbage and feet.
On the plus side, he's obsessed with tacos, which might be a plus depending on how you look at it.
- 2
Juri Han
Super Street Fighter IVWhy? She's a sadistic, evil, sorta-cyborg.
On the plus side, she seems like she'd be a hellcat in the bedroom.
- 1
James Sunderland
Silent Hill 2Why? Let's just say his relationships don't tend to end well.
On the plus side, there is no plus side with this guy, that's why he's #1 on our list of 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.