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11 Video Game Characters We’d Hate to Date

Bowser

Video games aren’t a medium known for being full of romance — probably because most video game characters are independent badasses built to allow the player to do whatever the hell he or she wants to do most. There are a few characters who can maintain long-term relationships (albeit shaky ones), like Ken Masters and Lara Croft, characters featured in our list of 11 Video Game Characters We’d Like to Date. Most video game characters, however, just don’t do relationships, and some are worse at it than others, which is why we’ve put together a list of the 11 Video Game Characters We’d Hate to Date.


11

Scott Pilgrim

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game
 
 

Why? He's kind of a moron, has the world's worst memory, and is unbelievably self-involved.

On the plus side, he's the best fighter in Toronto, maybe all of Canada. Still, he's one of the 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.

 

 
Scott Pilgrim
10

Samus Aran

The Metroid Series
 
 

Why? She's an intergalactic bounty hunter who spends 99% of her days alone. She's not what you'd call a people person.

On the plus side, she owns her own spaceship.

 
Samus Aran
9

Wrex Urdnot

The Mass Effect Series
 
 

Why? He's a giant turtle-man with four balls.

On the plus side, he's got a voice so low it could make Barry White jealous.

 
Wrex Urdnot
8

Bowser

Too many Mario games to count
 
 

Why? He's also a giant turtle-man, but the biggest issue here is that he'll always be obsessed with Princess Peach.

On the plus side, he's got a sweet-ass castle.

 
Bowser
7

Viewtiful Joe

Viewtiful Joe 1 and 2
 
 

Why? He's immature and totally obsessed with movies— you'll always come second, baby.

On the plus side, he's a whole lotta fun and has a pretty sick goatee.

 
Viewtiful Joe
6

Bayonetta

Bayonetta 1 and 2
 
 

Why? She doesn't exactly take her paramours seriously, and she's a witch.

On the plus side, she's a super hot witch with magical, shapeshifting hair and a sexy British accent.

 
Bayonetta
5

Otacon

The Metal Gear Solid Series
 
 

Why? His romantic interests always tend to end up a wee bit dead.

On the plus side, he's a super-ultra-mega genius. Still doesn't make up for him being one of the 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.

 
Otacon
4

Any guy from Grand Theft Auto

GTA series
 
 

Why? They're gangbangers who run hookers over with their cars and will probably get you thrown in jail by association (if they don't run you over with their cars).

On the plus side, they tend to have lots of money and unlimited ammo.

 
GTA
3

Crazy Dave

Plants vs. Zombies 1 and 2
 
 

Why? He's crazy, and probably smells like cabbage and feet.

On the plus side, he's obsessed with tacos, which might be a plus depending on how you look at it.

 
Crazy Dave
2

Juri Han

Super Street Fighter IV
 
 

Why? She's a sadistic, evil, sorta-cyborg.

On the plus side, she seems like she'd be a hellcat in the bedroom.

 
Juri Han
1

James Sunderland

Silent Hill 2
 
 

Why? Let's just say his relationships don't tend to end well.

On the plus side, there is no plus side with this guy, that's why he's #1 on our list of 11 Video Game Characters We'd Hate to Date.

 
James Sunderland

next: 11 Video Game Characters We'd Like to Date

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