Have you ever wanted to poop on your friends? If the answer to that is yes, 2K Play has developed the perfect outlet for you (and, as a side note, maybe we shouldn’t hang out for a little while). Instead of actually trying to poop on your friends, you can drop a virtual deuce on them by picking up Turd Birds on iOS. Yes, yes, it’s a dream come true for everyone.
All the player needs to do to play is “tap to crap” -- the game makers’ words, not ours. You play as a bird, flying around and literally dropping dooks on people. Tap to release the stinky bomb and swipe to move around. These simple controls are great and easy enough for children to pick up on. The responsiveness, however, is a separate issue. While the controls do work, they’re frequently sluggish, which leads to some irritation as players will likely die because of the unresponsiveness of the controls. The levels are endless runner style where you fly and poop for as long as you can, avoiding obstacles along the way. When you run into any of the obstacles jutting out from the ground, you’ll die, which makes tight controls all the more important to survive.
There’s only one level, but it does change scenery as you progress from a park to construction sites and so on. Every time you die, however, it’s back to the beginning, meaning that you’re probably going to get very tired of those early areas. One relief from this repetition is that there are different types of people and obstacles present each time you play. During one run, your mission might be to poop on all the grandmas you see while the next mission is to poop on bratty kids (which is something we can all get behind). Or maybe you have to avoid UFOs during one run, and then dodge porta-potties the next. These different items keep you on your toes and help stave off repetitive boredom.
You’ll find plenty to do with all the achievements and missions available, and though it may be superficial, those achievements do liven things up. Plus there’s a plethora of birds to unlock, each with their own special powers, like rapid poop, super splat, and perma-missiles. The first couple of birds aren’t too terribly difficult to unlock, but if you’re a completionist, you’ll either drive yourself mad trying to catch ‘em all, or you’ll plunk down some real-world cash and call it a day.
Turd Birds is shallow, but fun, and the juvenile humor will keep the young (and young at heart) amused for a while. The sound effects add a hilariously juicy quality with all the splat noises and comments from those who are getting pooped on. It has a pricing structure that’s as typically aggressive as any other freemium game, but there’s still a lot of fun to be had with this feces-encrusted title. And, if you sign in using your Facebook account, you can literally poop on your friends.