2.0 out of 10 Review

Umbrella Corps Review
Umbrella Corps Review
Umbrella Corps Review
Umbrella Corps is a mess from concept to execution. The fan service in the game is surface level to the point where you’d really have to try to care about anything going on. The shooting mechanics are a dizzying array of ideas competing against each other and falling head over heels in a frustrating mess in the process. This game seems like one last ditch attempt to cash in on the story lines and styles that have been established so far, but none of it is worked or smoothed out to make something cohesive. The only thing it really succeeds in is convincing us Umbrella is the worst and most incompetent company anyone could ever have the misfortune of working for.
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 Review
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 Review
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 Review
The music, a generic, 2001-esque rock tune, cuts in and out on the loading screen, then restarts entirely when the level starts to load. Objects pop into view haphazardly, and most textures only start to think about showing up for work. Your character is last to appear, an undetailed blob that vaguely resembles Tony Hawk; you feel a vague unease to go along with his blurred features. The objective: using your skateboarding skills, knock 25 giant balls out of a pool. There are actually 26 balls, but whatever. You struggle with the controls, flailing and flopping on maneuvers you swore you landed, all while the timer counts down with a corporate logo hanging heavy above it. You've nearly gotten all of the balls out when you jump. Tony goes ragdoll for no reason and launches twenty feet into the air in grotesque slow-motion until he tumbles down, into the ground, and jams there like a twitchy tombstone. The textures of his clothes and face finally load; his face is an expressionless, joyless mass with eyes more dead than Gravelord Nito.
Swing Copters Review
Swing Copters Review
Swing Copters Review
Are you sick of having fun? Well then, you're sure to not have fun playing Swing Copters, the new game from the creator of Flappy Bird, as it's the same painfully frustrating experience as its predecessor in almost every way.
Coin Quest Review
Coin Quest Review
Coin Quest Review
Those who put together the iPhone and iPad game Coin Quest forgot the number one rule when it pertains to making a game; make sure it's fun to play. Coin Quest is anything but that. What could have easily been a fun time killer where you try to have coins drop into slots, turns into something far more complicated, and unnecessarily so.
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons Review
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons Review
Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons Review
The premiere game from this year’s Summer of Arcade, Brothers is a single player co-op puzzle game overflowing with gorgeous graphics and interesting control schemes. Too bad that 90 minutes in, I am stuck on a glitch that even restarting cannot solve. And, now, all of my hard work is down the tubes.
Puddle Review
Puddle Review
Puddle Review
Puddles can be found just about anywhere after it rains. It is simply a low point where water collects. But, what journey did that water go through to congregate there? Were there bunsen burners and molten lava between its initial fall and slide to its resting place? Well, probably not. But it is nice to imagine anyway. Puddle is an interesting little physics puzzle game that lets you have a peek
Lumber Jacked Review
Lumber Jacked Review
Lumber Jacked Review
Lumber Jacked is a platform-puzzler from Everplay, creators of the amazingly quirky 1001 Attempts, and is the developer's latest mobile game to try to make its mark on the App Store. Does it succeed in providing a fun, distracting mobile experience? Or should we just shout, "TIMBER!" and watch it fall into the depths of the App Store trash pile?
Little Luna Review
Little Luna Review
Little Luna Review
Little Luna is the story of a young moon guardian and her quest to find out why the sun's light has disappeared. The adventure is told like a narrated storybook, but is it the kind of tale that sparks the imagination or does it just put us to sleep?
FF: All The Bravest Review
FF: All The Bravest Review
FF: All The Bravest Review
Let’s not pull any punches here and just call a pile of poop, a pile of poop. Final Fantasy: All the Bravest is a terrible, horrible “game.” It's nothing more than a cold-hearted attempt to quickly grab some cash based on your Final Fantasy nostalgia. The gameplay is virtually non-existent, the game is built around manipulating you into spending extra money, and, worst of all, the basic concept so
Vengeance: Woz With A Coz Review
Vengeance: Woz With A Coz Review
Vengeance: Woz With A Coz Review
Danny Trejo and Apple co-founder, Steve Wozniak, star in Vengeance: Woz With A Coz, now in the App Store. Yeah, you read that correctly. There's no need to adjust your glasses, contacts, or eyeballs, because Woz really is rocking a gun and shooting bad guys. Is this a match made in mobile heaven? Or just one really odd couple forged in gaming hell?

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