Recess Riot Review
We all love 8-bit-style games. They're cute, the music is nostalgic, but sometimes we forget how very frustrating they were. Recess Riot from Deceased Pixel LLC is certainly not going to break that trend. The music is adorable, but right from the get go, there are a zillion controls for what is frankly a simple, yet frustrating game.
There are two games you can play here -- the first, Jump! has you jumping rope. Yup. That's it. You have your A button for jumping and the B button for dodging. Hold down the A button and you can do a high jump. You can play on Rookie, Novice and Expert levels. Rookie is going to bore you, because you're just pressing the same button over and over. Jumping rope was never that much fun when there was actually a rope involved. Pushing a button to watch an 8-bit character do the same thing is stupefyingly boring. Oh sure, the little ladies holding the rope will move from left to right and back again, causing you to have to move with the D pad, but this isn't exactly rocket science. A game like this shouldn't be, of course, but the simple controls require you to be perfect with the timing. Don't try to play this one on the subway.
In the Dodge! game, you have to headbutt balls and other items, but dodge hammers and things. Um, this doesn't seem like a great place to send your kids, does it? The problem is, the graphics make it a bit annoying to tell the difference between what you're dodging and what you're going for. Get conked on the head by a hammer a few times and you'll stomp your feet and storm off the playground yelling, "I'm going home. I don't want to play with you guys anymore." There is another game, which is 'coming soon,' but we have no idea what that's going to be yet.
You can customize your character in a zillion different ways, but it's going to cost you money. There are coins available in-game, if you can get them, but it's going to take a long time to do that. The second you press the 'customize' button, which is right above the 'play' button, you're going to be taken to a page where you can ... surprise, surprise ... use real world money to buy in-game coins, hats and skins. Look, we love the skins, but this is just another example of asking you to pay far more than the $.99 this game costs. Overall, this game is just going to annoy you. Much like a lot of real life recess games on the playground.