Mario’s a video game Renaissance man -- there ain’t nothin’ he can’t do. Dude’s a great tennis player, masterful kart driver, expert princess-rescuer, and knows how to throw one heck of a party. Mario Party and Mario Kart both lean more towards accessibility than hardcore balance, but they still make for a good time when played with a group of friends. Though the execution is slightly different, these two mega-franchises center around one very basic idea: screwing over your pals and taunting them about it. Now let’s put them on the chopping block to see who wins out and who gets blue-shelled at the last moment.

Mario Kart

Best Entry: Mario Kart: Double Dash. Skilled players excelled at Double Dash’s game mechanics, and less-skilled players could still find fun in the team/kart building and varied courses and game modes.

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Worst Entry: Mario Kart Wii; still a solid game, but this one’s a definite B, while most of the rest of the Mario Kart series is an A or higher.

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Likelihood to make players scream in anger: Very high.

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Thing that stings the most: Getting smacked with a blue shell seconds before you would’ve crossed the finish line in first place.

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Mario Party

Best Entry: Mario Party 3. This entry saw the best balance between the series’ trademark randomness and the creativity of its mini-games.

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Worst Entry: Mario Party Advance. Mario Party is only fun when playing together with your friends, and adapting it to the Game Boy Advance doesn’t exactly make multiplayer easy.

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Likelihood to make players scream in anger: It’s not a likelihood… it’s a certainty. If you’re going to play Mario Party, someone’s going to get screwed over, and they’re probably gonna wig out about it.

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Thing that stings the most: Being in first place until one of the game’s billion random elements kicks you to the curb and takes away all of your hard-earned stars.

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Winner: Mario Kart
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Mario Kart continues to try new things with its formula, each title is more competitively balanced, and it’s still fun to play by yourself. Mario Party may be a lot of fun, but there’s only so much randomness, screaming, and star-stealing that a person can take, and much of its fun is contingent on how reasonable/rowdy your group of friends are. There’s no contest, here: Mario Kart is the clear winner.

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