See the Cast of 'Double Dragon' Then and NowLuke Brown |
In 1994, someone decided it would be a great idea to turn Double Dragon into a film. It wasn't a terrible idea in theory. Kung-fu action flicks always find an audience, and there was definitely potential in the story of two brothers taking down a crime kingpin to rescue a girl. That potential was completely squandered by the geniuses behind 'Double Dragon.' Nearly 20 years later, let's take a look back at the cast to see if everyone's career could recover from the embarrassment.
Mark Dacascos, Jimmy Lee
Then: As Jimmy Lee, Dacascos spent his time in 'Double Dragon' looking tough but being a rather bumbling idiot who gets captured by the bad guys. He needs to be rescued by Scott Wolf, so that alone should tell you just how pathetic Jimmy was in this movie.
Now: If you thought he looked a bit like Brandon Lee, you weren't the only one. Dacascos played Eric Draven (Lee's most infamous role) on the television series 'The Crow: Stairway to Heaven.' You might not know it with the long hair, but Dacascos cleans up rather well. In fact, he cleans up so well he's got a gig as the host of 'Iron Chef America.' He's also had a regular role on 'Hawaii Five-O.'
Scott Wolf, Billy Lee
Then: It takes a lot of hard work to be as milquetoast as Scott Wolf, but somehow Wolf makes it look easy with his performance as Billy in 'Double Dragon.' He's easily one of the least intimidating action heroes of the past 500 years. The only way Wolfe could look halfway competent was to have Dacascos not share the screen for large segments of the film at a time.
Now: After breaking teen hearts around the globe with his role as Bailey on 'Party of Five,' Wolf went on to co-star in several other series like 'V' and 'Everwood,' but his film career has just not taken off the way it should have. Perhaps the blame lies solely on 'Double Dragon.'
Alyssa Milano, Marian Delario
Then: Rocking a severe peroxide pixie cut (and still looking damn fine while doing so), Milano was a member of the Power Corps, and helped Billy and Jimmy put an end to the gang warfare brought on by big bad, Koga Shuko.
Now: Alyssa has frequently appeared in TV shows since the end of the witch drama 'Charmed,' with regular roles on shows like 'My Name is Earl,' or as a star in stuff like 'Mistresses,' which we assure you is really a television program you can actually watch.
Robert Patrick, Koga Shuko
Then: Taking a page out of the 'Super Mario Bros.' playbook, Robert Patrick had the unfortunate disposition of playing the bleached blonde bad guy in a suit in 'Double Dragon.' That he got beat up by a guy who spent more time crying in the '90s than any other human on the planet, and a guy most famous for shouting, "A la cuisine!" These two things alone says a lot about Patrick's presence in this adaptation.
Now: Despite the ridiculousness of 'Double Dragon,' Patrick's bad-assedness in his role as the T-1000 in 'Terminator 2: Judgment Day' overshadowed this one mistake, and kept him in business as a guy who plays a bad-ass for years. He replaced David Duchovny on 'X-Files' and most recently, has appeared on 'True Blood.'
Kristina Wagner, Linda Lash
Then: As Linda Lash, Wagner didn't exactly set the screen on fire as one of Shuko's accomplices. Still, according to the rules of action movie cliches, every bad guy needs a bad girl by his side.
Now: For the last 30 years, Wagner has appeared as Felicia Jones (and her subsequent surnames) on 'General Hospital.' If she was hoping 'Double Dragon' would help get her film career kickstarted, she was sorely mistaken, as the only other major (we're making air quotes), role she had was in the Damon Wayans insta-crapper, 'A Low Down Dirty Shame.' Yup.
Julia Nickson, Satori Imada
Then: As the legal guardian of Billy and Jimmy it was Satori's job to teach the boys lessons about their fates and whatever, nobody cares. She gets possessed by Shuko at one point, and then she sacrifices herself
so she doesn't have to be in this movie anymore to save the boys.
Now: Aside from a few guest appearances on 'Walker, Texas Ranger,' Nickson hasn't had many noteworthy roles over the past 20 years. Who knew you could get by living solely off residuals from 'Double Dragon?'
Andy Dick, Smogcaster
Then: Andy Dick will always and forever be remembered as the man who performed the daily smog report on Channel 102 News.
Now: Andy Dick will always and forever be remembered as the man who annoyed the hell out of you in everything he was ever in, except 'News Radio,' where he was somehow tolerable.
Vanna White, Herself
Then: Channel 102 News somehow managed to wrangle Vanna away from the lucrative position as the letter lady on 'Wheel of Fortune' to crack one half-hearted smile during a time-filling newscast in 'Double Dragon.'
Now: Vanna's still showing people all the Rs, S', Ts, Ls, Ns and Es they can handle, while trying to keep Pat Sajak from getting too wasted before tapings of the show where you spell to win.